outcomes

I always hypothesise the outcomes of hypothetical conversations.

These conversations aren't very far removed from possibility. Most of them are, in fact, fairly plausible, though I think that over the course of my life (and I have noticed myself doing this for many years), there might have been one time when something I'd hypothesised actually happened. For the most part, they depend on one particular event, or one particular turn in conversation, which is often quite contrived and dependent upon the clear expression of what is going on in my deepest thoughts... a rare occurrence. So at best, these hypotheticals show either what I would like to happen, or what I expect to happen.

When I hypothesise the outcome, it's equally telling. It shows what I want, or what I expect, and generally how much I want or expect it. Often there isn't even a set outcome, but just a sense of it. Whatever the case, it sets forth my feelings before my psyche with false tangibility. This sense of tangibility of the outcome of a conversation actually affects me. It can make me unreasonably angry, or it can make me unjustifiably hopeful. Either way gets me into trouble.

Hypothesised outcomes are hell to deal with when you're working with a limited emotional overhead.

To what extent is the "I'm not here, this isn't happening" approach a rational one? I know it's exceptionally hard to justify, but it's also somewhat instinctive. While the nature of a thing doesn't justify it, I still feel compelled to ask this question as I try to distinguish between healthy emotion and destructive self-pity.

More questions playing heavily on my mind: When did I get so short a fuse? How long is this foul temper going to last? And what can I do about it? What on earth can I possibly do about it? Is there any way I can avoid the hypothetically-concocted outcome?