mike whitney

The awesome unusualness of my weekend began on Friday night, when we just happened to walk into the Newtown pub where Mike Whitney (of Australian test cricket/Who Dares Wins/Gladiators fame) was lead singer in a cover band playing all kinds of old hits. Totally unexpected :o) and he's actually not all that bad!

6 episodes of Star Wars in chronological order in one 15-hour period. Nuff said.

music

without thought
without movement
without sound
there may be peace
but there can be
no music.

let the music live
let it breathe
let it move
don't quench it just to
kill the thought
kill the movement
kill the sound

sound can be controlled
movement can be tamed
thought can be channelled
rhyme can return
and the poetry of life can flow rich through your veins again.
there need not always be this chaos
there need not always be this fear
there need not always be this pain.

clarity

I'm getting more and more convinced everyday of the benefits of clarity in life. Whether it's clarity between people or clarity within your own thoughts, it just seems that life is much easier to deal with when clarity exists.

Clarity can't exist without communication. Most often when there's a lack of clarity between people there's also a lack of communication. It's really hard sometimes to bring up certain topics, and sometimes it's even inappropriate or unwise to talk about something. I think it's then that clarity is important within your own thoughts. If you know with clarity what you think about something or how you feel about something, then it seems you can deal much easier with a lack of clarity about that thing between you and someone else.

You might find it ironic that I'm being deliberately vague while talking about clarity, but my purpose is just to talk about the concept. There are many areas of my life right now in which I need to find clarity, and so I'm going to be taking a few steps backwards I think. A change of perspective can often help you see, and I need to see clearly.

Emotion Sickness by Silverchair is a great song...

It's really interesting thinking about how my depression affects my life. For instance, I know that the medication I'm taking attenuates my feelings (or at least it's supposed to), both good and bad. Right now I'm wondering just how much my good feelings about things are affected by it. Am I feeling badly about things I should be feeling good about? That's almost certain - it's a symptom of depression for that to happen. But am I feeling less happy about things I should be happy about, and therefore making unwise decisions regarding them? This is what I'm wondering a lot right now. I know that I can barely trust my thoughts and perceptions, but when it comes to making decisions, what else have I to use but them? I feel like I'm starting off on the wrong foot.

The Special Two by Missy Higgins makes no sense, but it's nice...

Wake up, wake up,
Wake up and rise.
(Time to live,
Time to work,
Time to act,
Time to serve.)
Wake up, rise up,
Get up and work.
(Now to live,
Now to work,
Now to act,
Now to serve.)
Wake up, rise up,
Look up and pray,
Now it is morning,
Now it is day.

I don't want my life to be mediocre.

calm panic breezy tense chilled manic and so on

I'm feeling so weird right now...

one moment i'm chilled, and this lasts for a while, and feels good

the next i'm tense, anxious and worried, and this lasts for a while, and feels... well... tense

and then i return.

one moment i'm happy, nay joyous, for my friends who have recently hooked up

the next i'm aching

and then i return.

and frankly i can't make head or tail of it