My friend says, and I quote:
Girls rarely make any moves. The ones who do end up happy; the ones that don't end up whining.
Now, since my girl made the first move, and she's happy, I tend to agree with him.
Also, my friend's a quality guy, who's very godly and strives for holiness - and I'd like to reference an earlier post on "Internet Footprints" (see link to Emma & Katie's blog) which says that godliness is attractive.* He's bolder than me in making moves, and he's done so... but why, when he's put himself out there on the Western Front, is he not seeing any action?
Here's my theory - none of the girls he's interested in have the courage to say anything about it, even if he's said something to them. Now sure, conversations like that can be awkward, particularly if they're not interested, but he's got a number of people who he suspects are interested in him and they just don't say anything. Even when he says something, they don't.
To quote Peter Griffin of Family Guy, "This grinds my gears."
Shape up girls, or I'm going to have to put on my Mr Bite-me face again and steal all of your chocolate. All you little Miss Angsts, you have no excuse.
*It's since been made aware to me that this post and the following comments were deliberate acts of spading in a very specific situation, but I believe that the principle still holds universally.
hmmm so it seems like nobody ever makes any moves... which is actually very consistent with what seems to be reality.
ReplyDeleteYou know, something that's also been talked about is that it'd be nice if "coffee" could just be "coffee" and not "oh my gosh we going to get engaged" - by which we mean that it'd be nice if people would just hang out/go on "dates" these days, which don't mean heaps but are just a chilled way to get to know each other without it meaning any more than it should. And that's why my friend has done a good thing - he suspects that nothing will happen, but he's giving it a go anyway, and I say we need to see more of that!!! Enough of the over-hyped pre-relationship stress. It's never done anyone any good, so we should all just bin it. Sure you'd end up going on lots of "dates" with people who you don't end up marrying or even going out with, but if you both know that "coffee" is just "coffee" that won't be a problem for either of you. Either party could make the first move, and we'd all be a whole lot less stressed about all this crap.
And, in fact, you're actually proving my friend's point...
ReplyDeleteAll very good points Em.
ReplyDeleteI think, in summary, that both guys and girls need to realise that nothing's going to happen if they don't say anything, and to act appropriately. Nobody can read minds, signals are largely ineffective and well open to doubt - if you like someone and you want something to happen, you need to say something, whether you're a guy or a girl.
Hey - bored at work... and guess what - its races day.... and our main server is down... yippeee.
ReplyDeleteI think that both parties make moves.... but I don't think that the other party really understands what a "move" is.
Guys make moves... and they are SOOO DAMN OBVIOUS... girls don't see to catch on to the very simplistic method that guys use. Watch high school kids at maccas some day - watch for the homing beacon attitude of every male to the girlt hey are interested in. It's like a neon light.
When girls make moves - they try and be subtle. Subtle doesn't work, because guys don't do subtle when it comes to "Im interested in you".
So both make moves - neither are particularly effective.
oi, Iain, I have made the first move (subtley and not-so) and I didn't end up happy... actually I am happy, but not in the way that you mean the word. So I'm living proof that you're wrong.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I know for a fact that I have a strong personality and for most of the time this scares guys. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it Caz (one of the wisest of wise women) who called GUYS to be bold at Equip and not girls. The only hesitation a girl might be having is from all the mixed signals she gets from guys who want a nice (by which I means good-looking) submissive girl who agrees with everything they say... okay, maybe I need to hang out with more mature boys... I mean men. Note: I know lots of 'men', but I'm just not interested, not now, and probably not ever. Damn it. Shape up boys and give us women something to be bold about!